Recently, a
very dear friend of mine has started going to AA. When I went to the first meeting with her, I went purely to be
there to support her as she was still very early on in the program. As the
meeting was later in the evening, we went for dinner first and she warned us
that at the meeting there was a lot of talk about “God” and about a higher
being. Growing up in a Mennonite Church this didn’t bother me at all, but I was
somewhat curious about how this would fit into what they did at an AA
meeting.
I had
some preconceived notions about AA. You know, the part you see in countless
movies, shows and comedy sketches that they stand up and say “Hi I’m ____ and
I’m an Alcoholic” (much to my surprise, this part is still true!) Other than
that, I didn’t really know what to expect. Oh, and now that there was a lot of
mention about God.
I won't go into all the details of the meeting, but when I left, I was VERY near
to tears. Not only was I so proud of my friend for everything she had
accomplished, but also because of the amazing life lessons that group had to
offer. I couldn’t help but feel that if all of us on this earth lead our lives according
to the way members of AA lead theirs, this world would be a better place.
For
example: Principles before personality. When you put a bunch of people together
in the same room, you’re bound to have a conflict of interests. The great thing
about principles before personality, it doesn’t matter what you think of the other person, you respect
them for who they are and the challenges they are going through. You don’t have
to be their best friend, you don’t even have to like them. You DO know that
what they are going through is difficult, and that as a member you are
responsible for helping them in their journey.
How
amazing is that? Can you imagine a world where we all accept that we don’t like
each other, but we respect the other person’s journey? We all have our shit.
We’re all fighting a battle of some sort whether it be emotionally, physically,
mentally or all three. We are all humans trying to fight our way and trying to
make sense of this life we are given.
Another
part of the meeting that really stuck with me was the reading of this poem:
The
Man in the Glass
Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.
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When you
get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day Just go to the mirror and look at yourself And see what that man has to say. For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife Whose judgment upon you must pass The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the one staring back from the glass. He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest For he’s with you, clear to the end And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test If the man in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years And get pats on the back as you pass But your final reward will be heartache and tears If you’ve cheated the man in the glass. |
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At the
end of the day, you only have YOU to answer to. Not your boss, not your
friends, not the lady across the street judging you because you’re kids are
wearing sandals in the middle of winter, YOU. At the end of the day, you alone
are responsible for what actions you take and what happens in your life. I
think if every once in a while we all look internally for answers instead of
externally for material objects or be the way we THINK we should be according to
someone else…we would all be a lot happier.
So the next
time you want to smack someone or the next time you see a judgey
mc judgerson walk by you, smile at them. I promise you they are fighting their
own battle...
The next time you want to put the blame on someone or something else (I
can’t run today because I’m too busy, I’m too fat, but I don’t have time to
work out) look at yourself in the mirror and remember, YOU are responsible for
how you handle this life you are given.
I could go on for hours about what else AA has taught me, but for now, I'll leave you with this:
Life
is a gift…cherish it.
